On Motivation

When the future's architectured

by a carnival of idiots on show,

you better lie low.

But if you love me, won't you let me know?

-Coldplay, Violet Hill

I went to a motivational seminar and all I got was a lousy commercial. Moreover, I went to a motivational seminar and got thinly veiled fundamentalist, Evangelical, health-and-wealth gospel preaching. Suffice it to say that as a result, I left extremely demotivated.

To be fair, there were a few helpful insights. Colin Powell and Lou Holtz gave entertaining talks on respectful leadership and goal-oriented perseverance, respectively. But by the time the day ended, I couldn't help but wonder why Powell, Holtz, and others like Bill Cosby would risk their reputations by touring as part of a shambolic seminar troupe.

But the two speakers who got the most time at the Get Motivated Seminar (you can Google it because I can't be bothered to link to it) were selling products. The first was selling investment tools. About half-way into his spiel, I though, "Gee, this sounds like a sales-pitch." And sure enough it was. Turns out Get Motivated "arranged" for the seminar attendees to go to a class to learn about this investment software at a discounted price. This first commercial only had limited God talk.

Before lunch, there was an "optional" ten-minute "spirituality" session in which one of the speakers told about how there "is a God" and that if people would just accept Jesus into their hearts, they would be blessed. I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs, "BUT WHAT ABOUT JOB?" Because whenever someone blabs on about how good things happen when they accept Jesus, all I can think of is the story of Job, who was obedient to God yet suffered nonetheless. Moreover, I think of Jesus' own words: "The least will be the greatest" and "You can't serve two masters." But this wasn't the worst part of the day.

No, the coup de gras came in the form of an utter ass hat millionaire who liked to talk about God and loving people in between jokes about killing people who bothered him. He also used borderline racist language. He also purposefully disrespected non-Christians (and, I would add, Christians themselves). After he said something along the lines of "I know some of you are atheists and that I'm pissing you off, but I don't care." I rolled my eyes and thought, "I'm a Christian and I even hate Christianity right now. So I'm sure that any actual atheists here are being irreconcilably alienated." To them, I apologize; that wasn't the gospel of Jesus. To Christians, I beg you not to buy into that kind of idiocy. And to the speaker, Mr. Smith, I say, "STFU! Stop making a mockery out of the crucified savior." Perhaps the most troubling thing was that he explicitly said everyone who doesn't make loads of money is "nothing." So, according to this self-styled prophet, either you have a Major Bank Account (MBA, see? Clever, no?) and are something. Or you clean hotel rooms and are nothing. I wish Gustavo Guiérrez had been in the audience. Moreover, I wish Mr. Smith had read Gutiérrez. If he had, perhaps he would know about God's preferential option for the poor and would care about them a little (a lot!) more. Because the gospel is good news first to the poor. The gospel is never proclaimed as good news of wealth and success. Anyway, the guy invited everyone to a three-day class about how to prepare for the future, financially. I think it cost $99. Unbelievable.

At any rate, I imagine that most of the talk that I heard yesterday was typical "business major" stuff. The narrative seeds taught in business school were in full bloom yesterday. I just can't see how any of this get-ahead-at-any-cost-so-that-you-will-matter stuff jives with the gospel of Jesus. The good news proclaimed by Jesus was freedom, sight, and Jubilee. I pray that we American Christians get some courage and disavow this health and wealth drivel.

Lord, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy.