One of the most astute social commentators of our time, Stephen Colbert, once said, “Reality has become a commodity.” And I think he was right. Of course, he was talking about the ease with which one can manipulate reality on the Wikipedia website, but I think his observation holds true in general. Take for example Fox News, they can (and often do) manipulate reality to fit their own narrative; one need only look back to their coverage of the Fort Hood shooting last year as an example of the way they present Islam as a religion of “jihadism,” where “jihadism” means “killing Americans” (n.b., Krauthammer’s responses in the linked transcript). However, I am convinced that Islam is a religion that seeks justice and truth and that denounces violence. The Fort Hood killer wasn’t acting as a Muslim, he was acting as a troubled US soldier who had seen and suffered unimaginable horror during his tour of duty. …but I digress.
To return to my point: in the same way that reality has become a commodity, love has also become a commodity. And this is especially true on February 14. In our consumerist society, Valentines Day presents couples with the narrative truth that love equals dollars spent on their mate. That is, the narrative that consumerism tells is this: Boyfriend A loves Girlfriend B so much that A gave two months' salary worth of Valentines Day gift to B; or, conversely, Partner A doesn’t love Partner B enough because the gift B received did not meet B’s expectations. Thus, Valentines Day love not only has to be desirable but also calculated. And if one’s love (i.e., expense in gift) this year doesn’t equal the amount of one’s love from last year, there must be something wrong. The fact that the gift-giver got laid-off from work this past year is simply inconsequential. After all, it’s Valentines Day! *insert smiley emoticon here*
Perhaps my sarcastic tone (if not title of this post) will betray my feelings about Valentines Day… at least about the way it has come to be practiced in twenty-first century America. Twenty-first century Valentines Day makes no effort to remember those saints who were martyred on February 14 in the third century—which is a pity. Instead, Valentines Day, as we know it, reflects the medieval romantic notion that this, the middle day of the month of February, is the day that the birds begin to pair off. How sweet. But more than reflecting some medieval romance, twenty-first century Valentines Day reflects twenty-first century assumptions about romantic love and money! For example, the narrative of our market-driven society says that “the more money we have, the happier we’ll be” (but that narrative repeatedly exposes itself as a lie—yet twenty-first century America continues to buy into the lie). Likewise, the narrative of our market-driven society says that the more money we spend (sacrifice?) on love shows the extent to which we truly love. But are such love-as-commodity assumptions in any way Christian?
The notion that love can be bought and therefore, that love is a commodity is not a Christian understanding of love. Instead, Christians must look to Scripture to find out what love is and how to model love properly today.
Let’s begin with the example of God’s love for his people. If one reads the Book of Deuteronomy, hopefully the theme of love and faithfulness will emerge as one of the most important themes of the book. God and Israel agree upon a covenant—that covenant is based on Israel’s obedience. So both God and Israel demonstrate love by how they act in response to their covenant agreements (God blesses and Israel shows obedience)[i]. Please do not misunderstand; demonstrating love is not the same as buying love. Through their faithfulness to their covenant—not through a quid pro quo-type arrangement—the bond of love between both God and Israel grows. There could be no romantic superficialities in God and Israel’s covenant relationship; neither can there be romantic superficialities in covenant love today.
I would assert, then, that love, when properly construed for the Christian, means faithfulness to covenants made between partners. The narrative of covenant faithfulness subverts society's narrative of Valentines Day love. The narrative of covenant faithfulness says that love cannot be bought, love cannot be superficial, love cannot be made into a wishy-washy commodity. Those of us who affirm that we are Christians must reject the narrative of Valentines Day love in favor of meaningful, faithful, covenant love.
Therefore, Christians must not celebrate Valentines Day.
Love is not a commodity!
[i] For these notions of “demonstrating love” and “covenant love,” I am indebted to Phillip G. Camp and his forthcoming book on Deuteronomy.
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